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Empathy...A Lost Art?
I went to the doctor today. I'm not sick, just a little unwell. I stopped taking my thyroid meds about 6 months ago when I ran out and was just to busy to go to the doctor. To be perfectly honest, I am not sure they were helping anything all that much. Last week, though, some of my co-workers mentioned that I always seems tired (which I am) and that I should get my thyroid checked. When I shared with them my story, they insisted I call the doctor to schedule an appointment, and believe it or not, I did.
So, today at the doctor, I waited in the lobby and then waited some more in the exam room before the doctor actually came in. Without saying an introduction or anything, she examined the results of my bloodwork and then started telling me what was all normal or good (like my cholesterol). I tried to explain my fatigue. She just didn't seem to believe that my one thyroid hormone level that was low could cause this. It is not that she said that, it's just the attitude that she gave off. She walked out of the room, and I waited for yet the third time in this 60+ minute appointment. She did give me a prescription for thyroid medicine and then said she'd see me in 6 months.
My question is: How hard would it have been for her to show just a bit of empathy? She did ask how long I sleep at night, but couldn't fatigue come from other factors like stress and diet. Couldn't she have said, "After using this for a month, if you are still experiencing fatigue, set up another appointment"? She could have at least faked being interested or caring about my situation. Heck, I am paying her.
Believe me, I have to fake empathy everyday. Do you know how hard it is to be empathetic with kids who don't have their homework because they (a) left their folder in English, (b) their dog ate it, (c) they puked on it, or (d) [make up your own crazy story and I've probably heard it]. Still, even though I've heard it all, to that kid, I need to show that I care and that they do have options. I'm even reading this book about classroom management stuff (it's a great book; let me know if you want the info on it) and it discusses the importance of empathy. I guess our culture is just too busy and too self-focused to really take the time to care about someone else.
So, today at the doctor, I waited in the lobby and then waited some more in the exam room before the doctor actually came in. Without saying an introduction or anything, she examined the results of my bloodwork and then started telling me what was all normal or good (like my cholesterol). I tried to explain my fatigue. She just didn't seem to believe that my one thyroid hormone level that was low could cause this. It is not that she said that, it's just the attitude that she gave off. She walked out of the room, and I waited for yet the third time in this 60+ minute appointment. She did give me a prescription for thyroid medicine and then said she'd see me in 6 months.
My question is: How hard would it have been for her to show just a bit of empathy? She did ask how long I sleep at night, but couldn't fatigue come from other factors like stress and diet. Couldn't she have said, "After using this for a month, if you are still experiencing fatigue, set up another appointment"? She could have at least faked being interested or caring about my situation. Heck, I am paying her.
Believe me, I have to fake empathy everyday. Do you know how hard it is to be empathetic with kids who don't have their homework because they (a) left their folder in English, (b) their dog ate it, (c) they puked on it, or (d) [make up your own crazy story and I've probably heard it]. Still, even though I've heard it all, to that kid, I need to show that I care and that they do have options. I'm even reading this book about classroom management stuff (it's a great book; let me know if you want the info on it) and it discusses the importance of empathy. I guess our culture is just too busy and too self-focused to really take the time to care about someone else.
posted by Becky Davis | 7:47 PM
2 Comments:
I think empathy is very important, even if you are not *feeling* particularly empathetic. On a deep-down personality level, I am not a particularly empathetic person. I am empathetic toward people and situations I care about, but toward others, I usually just don't care. Internally. It's something I struggle with. Often empathy is a daily (or hourly) action I have to choose.
But part of loving people is showing them that they are of value. Showing empathy (even if it's not felt) is a way that we can love other people. And it makes them feel good that someone has taken notice of their situation and actually cares.
Perhaps you should send your doctor a copy of the book you're reading. I really do think she should have handled your appointment differently. I mean, good grief.
If it means anything, I believe you!!!
I totally understand, not only about the students and their lame excuses, but about going to the doctor and feeling like they don't believe you. My due date is case in point. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the date of conception. Does the doctor take that into account? Of course not! Did the doctor give me a chance to ask questions when I saw him today? Of course not! He was in and out faster than I could blink. I wish I had a solution.
By the way, I would like the information for that book. I am not particularly empathetic when it comes to irresponsibiltiy.
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